How Our Mood Shapes Our Children's Sleep - Even As They Grow
As a sleep consultant - and a mum of two (now 7 and 10) - I've spent a lot of time thinking about sleep. Not just theirs, but mine too.
When my kids were little, I thought sleep was all about routines: bath, book, bed. If I ticked all the boxes, surely sleep would follow. Right?
But as they've grown, I've learned something I wish I knew earlier:
... our mood as parents plays a huge role in how well our children sleep - even when they're no longer babies.
Children Feel Our Energy
Kids are incredibly intuitive. Even if they can't explain it, they can feel it. When we're stressed, overwhelmed, or emotionally checked out, they sense it. Their nervous systems are still developing, and they take cues from us - a process known as co-regulation.
Think about those evenings when the whole household feels tense. The bedtime routine is the same, but everything feels harder. More resistance, more restlessness. That's not coincidence.
Sleep Isn't Just About Routines - It's About Connection
The winding-down hours are a transition - not just physically, but emotionally. Children need to feel safe and connected before they can fully relax into sleep. And if we're rushing through, distracted, or carrying the weight of our day, it can disrupt that process.
This doesn't mean we need to be perfect. It simples means being present matters more than we often realise.
So What Can We Do?
Here are a few gentle shifts that have made a big difference in my home - and in the families I support:
Pause before bedtime: Take a breath. Let go of the to-do list, even for a few minutes. Your presence is powerful.
Notice your own state: If you're feeling tense, acknowledge it with self-compassion. A quick reset - a few deep breaths, a stretch, a moment of stillness - can help you regulate before guiding your child through bedtime.
Prioritise connection: sometimes just five minutes of undistracted time before lights out - a chat, a cuddle, a laugh - is all it takes to ease the transition into sleep.
You Matter Too
Your mood, your energy, and your wellbeing aren't just background noise - they're part of the sleep story. Not just for babies, but for toddlers, school-aged kids, and even teens.
So if bedtime has been feeling harder lately, start with gentleness - toward them, and toward yourself.
And if you ever need a bit of support or guidance, I'm always here.
You deserve rest too.
Warmly,
Olivia x
Sleep Nanny Certified Sleep Consultant and Mum of Two
